EA, being "friends" with OW, and Boundaries

[NikB]

I'm getting ready mentally for the weekend, and I know Friday may be rough - any thoughts on my questions below?

As I mentioned I gave H advance warning that his new "mood" isn't getting to me. I suggested a place to go and he asked if he could invite some friends. I'm backing off on the "just the 2 of us" date night for now, so I said that was fine, but I know OW/EA is really the only "friend" he is thinking of. I suggested a handful of people and he said he'd call them (they are "his" friends and he'd feel threatened if I called - I'm still working on developing my own circle of friends). I won't be surprised if it ends up me, H, and OW. (blech)

If that happens, I'm going to have fun no matter what. I'm ready for battle and will compete with her if that's what I have to do. I'm going into it with confidence, and I know I WILL win. A win is defined as me feeling confident and having fun - not based on how H responds. Our dynamic in the past has been she's the fun pretty one, I'm the loyal tolerant wallflower wife, and H is the "lucky guy" who gets to go out with two women. Not this time!!! OW will be so surprised.

But, I have a few questions -

- Any suggestions on what to do specifically? Do I pay a lot of attention to H, or kind of ignore him? I want to reinforce that I'm fun and confident, and he's a good person who deserves love, but not be clingy.

- OW will be "buddy buddy" with me. She thinks we're friends - H said he doesn't have the heart to tell her how I feel, because she doesn't have many friends. Do I "act as if" we're friends? Distance myself from her? Tell her the truth that I'm fighting for our M? (afraid this might spur a competitive "thing" though). I know enough "dirt" that I could pretend to be friendly while actually being catty and nasty if I wanted to, but that's really not me.

- OW will pressure me about Thanksgiving, especially if I'm doing the "act as if we're friends" bit. I need to have some clear but calm "no" replies ready or I can see myself either flipping out or being pressured into inviting her. Any suggestions?? The evil side of me wants to bring her a box of Captain Crunch with a bow on it and a Happy Thanksgiving card (no I wouldn't really do it, but it's fun to fantasize).