EA, being "friends" with OW, and Boundaries

[NikB]

Thanks Stilltryin! I didn't realize they were that different, so that's good to know. I will look for DR for sure (either Friday night if H is pouting, or over the weekend if not).

We go to our first MC session tonight - I hope it ends up positive but I am SO nervous. H changed clothes 3 times this morning - he said he didn't want the C to immediately think "Jacka$$" when she saw him. Very strange.

I definitely understand where you're coming from with the Friday night just going out without him, but I don't want to be the one to set that precedent. So far, Friday's been "our time" - even if we go out with a group, it's the one day a week we promise to do something together. I did give him a little bit of advance warning though. Last night I told him "I'm not sitting here having the same conversation we've had the last 2 weeks this Friday - I'm hoping to go out and have fun with you like we planned. If you decide you'd rather stay home and be depressed that's fine, but I'm going." So it's still "our" time and he knows that but is also prepared that I'm not buying into the 'mood' this time around.

What's sad is it used to be our time just the 2 of us...then it grew into "us and the neighbors" most Fridays and we very rarely went out just the 2 of us. Even then it bothered me that he always wanted other people around when we went out, but I didn't understand why - I thought he was just really social. I wish I'd seen then that there was a problem starting...<sigh>.