I'm in a similar boat: my wife has supposedly broken it off with the OP, but admits that she still talks to him and that she still loves him.
(This is ostensibly an "emotional affair")
I really made a mistake and got my hopes up upon the second (and I thought definitive) break with OP because my wife even mentioned the possibility of us working things out.
She had earlier pushed to have me meet said OP, as if, as you've said, we could be "one big happy family." A very, very strange dream...
Now, after the "ending" of the affair, I feel like I'm in a weird kind of limbo - after partially detaching and getting OK with that, I've been drawn back in by some hope and don't really know what to do other than continue the whole DB thing about not pressuring, etc.
So I think I have an idea of how you feel.
As far as I'm concerned, I'm going to be more guarded with my hopes and expectations. As so many people here have shown, this is a long-haul kind of thing.
