I still think that you haven't totally messed up. Yes, it probably wasn't a good idea to "bash" the OW, but you did use his own words and luckily he did recall that. Plus you appologized for your outburst. So don't fret. You just need to be more focused on your GAL because if this OW can't be with her boyfriend anymore, she may move on to yours more persuasively- hopefully not.
Also, my H was in his PA for about 7 months so, your 6-7 months is almost here (from the time he had the most feelings for her as you stated).
In regards to mothers... I told my mom about our problem (she had gone thru the same thing, she didn't go bashing my dad though but she did give me some bad advice like kicking my husband out of the house which I wish I had never done) Well, I told her that it didn't have anything to do with her, but me so that I could keep my mind focused on what I needed to do, which consequently meant I would not be talking with her by phone or in person. It was easy since I live in another state, but we used to talk at least every other day. She hated this totally, but did understand. She still tried to call a few times to ask a "question", but I kept it brief. I also told her if she needed to get in contact with me, to email me.
I told this to my H's mom too and my siblings. For me, I needed as much alone time.. meaning time without distractions and "helpful" advice. I needed to figure things out myself and it's also easy to start bashing our H's when our family/friends are doing it or encouraging it, and that will not put us in the right frame of mind. It's good to let things out, and that's why I love this site. No one is encouraging each other to bash our Spouses, but to just let us vent and then move on to DBing.
Why don't you have your mom read the DR.. I had my mom, and she had a new perspective on her R with my dad.
have a good week guys.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
