HI ERIC!! It always makes me feel so good when I hear that someone's M has started healing and is getting better!! My H and I had been married 32 years when things just kind of went "sour". I think it started when we got "too comfortable" and started taking each other for granted. Then before we knew it,we had stopped communicating. Then it felt like we had lost control of things and just simply didn't know how to stop the drifting apart. The really sad thing was that my H decided that someone else could give him what he felt I wasn't. Instead of talking about what was happening with us,he sought escape with another woman. Thankfully it didn't last long (ER 6-7 months and PA 4 months ..thank God she lived out of our state!). We sat down and had a very long (overdue) talk when I discovered the infidelity. I am so thankful that the love we had shared all those years was still there and he didn't love this OW. He broke off the A and we immediately started working on us! He assured me that it was NOT my fault he cheated but I know that I had to assume part of the resposibility for the condition of our M!!

Marriage had never really seemed like a lot of work up until we had trouble. Then the work really began! The infidelity was deffinately a "wake up" call for us!! It scared him and it scared me to think that we almost lost each other!! It has not been easy and it has take a long time for me to start rebuilding the trust. I forgave him in the beginning and to be honest it was really not a hard decision to forgive.I simply loved him too much not to forgive! The hard part was learning to live with what he had done and trying to trust in him again. After 32 years of complete love and trust,to have it destroyed like that was hard to take!! It has been a year and a half since I discovered the A. We are happier and more in love than ever. It took BOTH of us working on things to make it right. Yes,it still hurts when I do think about the A but the pain has lessened over time and now it is more like a very sad memory that a harsh pain.

I firmly believe that infidelity can be forgiven. I believe that if the love is there,problems can be worked on and can be fixed. I believe that people can have a loving and enduring R if they work at it. It's not easy and it takes time but the end results is well worth the work!!

The very best to you and your W!! May things continue to get better and better!!
pfroglady