Regarding the backslides... I really don't think they were that bad, could have been way worse. And BRAVO for the excellent weekend!!!

I truely feel that you have a lot going for your situation. If you just stay in the fight and don't give up, you guys will turn things around and next year I bet the OW won't be in the picture. Well, guess not totally since she's a co-worker, but maybe she'll quit or get fired!

Just an fyi, just in case there is some MLC going on, I would be hesitant to give derogatory comments, as in the couch comment. Of course you didn't know that he helped pick it out, but I'm sure you did hurt his feelings and make him think that he has bad taste or something. So, my advice is to just be careful when making a comment on something he is talking about, always try to find the positive in things which will in turn make him want to talk to you about personal things more often.

That was also wonderful and humbling for you to ask him what he would like to have done for the weekend in regards to housework. My H is one of those guys that grew up in a really tidy home, and he HATES it when the house is messy. I think that added on to part of his stress during his A time.

Also, be patient with him, because you have realized that he has had trouble communicating, so if he says something that was offensive, maybe just point out that you would be happy to do it if he asked in a more gentler way or constructive way.

When he made the 2 year comment about the stove... don't worry about that, it's just a little thing in this whole sitch... Now, if he's not doing a fair share of what you expect his household chores should be, then something probably needs to be discussed at some point in time.

Well, I'm glad things are looking up, and that you guys had a great weekend.

I think that everything you mentioned about your new goals, or what works, are all great ideas.

Definitely agree with post about making sure they are PRO-MARRIAGE!!!!!

Talk to you soon,

Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."