Nikki, I have to disagree with Astimegoeson. He is not thinking like a MLCer. He's thinking like a normal guy. I think many others posting here have heard 'we are just friends'. My H told me for many months that he and OW were just friends. Don't know if I mentioned it before, but he actually asked me how I could go through life, being such a negative person as to think that a man couldn't have female friends, that were just friends.... That was about 2 weeks before I found proof that they'd had PA for several months already. What he is doing is inappropriate behavior for a married man, esp a married man who's wife has said that it bothers her. Most especially if this has not been his behavior before. My H and OW managed to have her H and I at dinner with them, go to weddings together, and even scheduled a hike for all of us, (which I did not attend). It's great sport to see if they can get that close to each other, with their spouses there, and not be found out. Think of the excitement and suspense to be near each other, within our company and have that adrenaline coarsing through them and not be able to react to it. OW sat at my kitchen counter, as the queen of MY party, entertaining the crowd. H doted on her, like a good host. Trust me, unless he has had a history of flirting with women, this IS different. H went out to dinner with OW, and when they'd see someone they knew, he told them he was helping her find a house.... he was helping her find a condo for the two of them!
Check out other posts, you'll see this played out again and again. I don't mean to scare you. But, it sounds like you may be at the stage where it's the excitement between them, and maybe it hasn't gotten physical yet. So you have to walk a tightrope of not getting on him so bad that he says it's nagging, but, figuring out ways to make yourself desireable and fun, and keeping him occupied without her. Your car races was excellent... you did it, you had fun, and she didn't!! very cool. Besides, if you have date nights, it should be you and your H, or couples you are friends with. OW actually went to the MC with her H... She tried to give me advice on how to 'keep my husband'... and not drive him away. What a pile of Bull!! This is after they'd already had their Affair and I caught them. She had no intention of staying with her H, if she could have mine. I sound bitter toward OW, and You bet I am! She set out to do this, and did it. My H was in a crisis, and as he said, sometimes you just gotta look down the well. And, he looked, and he fell in! You can only do so much. And, even then, it might not matter, if he's in a crisis. But, you will know you have done your best. And, if the timing is right, and he is still open to your advances, you may just get him to realize what a prize you are, before he moves to the PA. We're all pulling for you! Keep up your great work. Think of more things like the car races. Maybe you can make plans with other couples, and make reservations or get tickets for some event,... if you buy concert tickets, and the seats are assigned, your H friend will not easily be able to get a seat next you you and your friends.
