Stilltryin – wow, we have a lot in common. I definitely need to keep on working on it. I had gotten pretty discouraged and depressed for awhile there, but the only way out of it is to keep on being more active. I know once the weight comes off it will be MUCH better, too.
Thank you for your thoughts about my replies on OW too. Validating sounds like a better choice – and truer to myself.
About the “3” of us going out – you make some really good points, thank you! I realized last night that when we’ve gone out with friends, we’ve had several times where I sat in the corner ready to cry or scream while he and OW had a great time. And you’re absolutely right – looking at it from his perspective, of COURSE he’d rather spend time with the “fun one.” I was also remembering how we all went to a car race several months ago (it’s one of H’s passions that I enjoy to a point too). I was jumping up and down rooting for our friends every lap, while OW was not only bored but really irritating and rude about it - H talked for DAYS about how much fun he and I had and how “weird” OW acted, and actually I didn’t see her for a few weeks after that. Wow – I’ve had more power over this whole situation than I realized for a long time now.
Last night H was out with a big group of friends from work which I know included OW, and I was calmer about it than I’ve been in months. Did some house cleaning, did my nails, hung out with the dog, nothing earth shattering but the thought of it didn’t torment me all night for the first time so I was excited.
Those letters you wrote to your H sound amazing!! The starting a new marriage with him is a wonderful sentiment, and I’m so glad that your situation has turned around. I’ll have to go back and read some of your old posts for inspiration.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
