I have posted on staying solution focused but have gotton no response so I have decided to try it hear. Married almost 25 years. H moves out June 2001 (after advising me via, text message, no face to face) and is gone until March of 2002. All the while claiming the typical dont love you, never loved you, etc. Claimed he lived close to work and no OW. WE have two sons ages 22 and 17. Both were devestated. H disclosed in March he actually lived only 1 mile from us with a co-worker and her 14 yr son and they were a family. Came clean about 2 other affairs also. Said this all occurred because he is not physically attracted to me. (I am overweight but working on it) This new relationship was different because he finally felt what love was. Over next few months he waffled back and forth over what life he wanted and chose me and our sons. Has admitted it was originally for sons but has come to see things differently that he did during the months away. Has quit his job (25 years with post office and she is there) and has gone back to school to pursue teaching credential which is his lifelong dream. For the most part, I have tried to let go and just live. I find myself more and more dissatisfied with the facts that 1. He will not say ILY and 2. our sex life is slim to none (because he feels no desire for me due to the way I look). So after all of this long story, my question to those who have been here at this stage before, do I let him know how dissatisfied I am or do I just be patient and see what comes? Most S's that come home seem to be full of ILY's and intimacy from what I have read here, but nothing for me from my H. He says words are just words and he lied before and will never say the words again. He is very good in the "showing dept" and says he wouldnt be with me if he did not want to. He keeps saying he is not going anywhere but still I am so insecure. Any advice?
