Quote: I never thought of myself as perfect, but I think I’m a great wife. I take care of myself. I keep a nice home. I am a good cook. I admit that I’ve done more whining than I should have (everyone has to learn how to deal with life, and I think I’ve done a lot of that through this experience) but I have never been witchy or abusive in any way. I’ve always believed that he should be able to pursue his interests and hobbies. I’ve always supported and encouraged him to do what he wanted—I have friends who freak out when their H isn’t home immediately after work to take care of the kids and house and laundry—my H has never had those expectations placed on him. I’ve never wanted to do anything but the right thing.
I admit, I have done some things he didn’t want me to do. At the time, I had no idea how he felt. He never told me what he wanted, so I just assumed he wanted the same things I did. He left all the big decisions up to me anyway. It was always, “I don’t care. Do whatever you want.” I’ve never wanted anything but to be the best wife and mother and friend I can be.
He doesn’t deserve me. Maybe he never did. But now, after all of it, I look at our little family, and I can’t turn my back on him. There’s just too much at stake. After all we’ve been through, I feel like he’s the one saying, “I love you too…I think.” There’s no longer any question about that for me. I love him. I think I’ve proven that. So what’s the catch for him? What is it that keeps him from committing 100% to this M? What is it that keeps him from wanting to move home?
Ok, who are you...are you my twin?!
These are the same things that I deal with my H. Never would truly open up about things. Always kept things inside until the anger or resentment or whatever came to a head. I am the one that is deemed as controlling because I had to make sure everything was taken care of. My H just wants to fly by the seat of his pants with no plans day to day. That is fine when it was just us but now we have 3 little ones to take care of. Schedules have to come into play sooner or later. I always make the big decisions concerning finances, the house, whatever. It is because he just doesn't care about those things.
Could we just put our Hs in a bubble and pump some brain juice into it? We can't just walk away because we DO have so much invested and we care too much for them to turn our backs.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
