I know this is a sticky subject but I do hope I get a response from someone. I'm having trouble with that on here.
For those not familiar with me, I'm the one that did the cheating. I had an affair within a 45 day period of time that I truly regret. The affair was with a recently divorced father of two. He comes from an abusive relationship (his wife beat him) and his children have been sexually abused by another man and are currently in foster care. I feel sorry for this man, I really do. He no longer has my cell phone number and can not call me directly. However, I have a voice mail number he has access to and he calls me on that number daily. I have already tried to cut off all ties with this man but it's been hard. I feel like he has NOBODY in his life to turn to and I'll just be another person letting him down. However, I have promised my H that I will never see this man again or talk to him. He keeps leaving me voice mail messages asking me to call him. He also owes me quite a bit of money and I'm wanting to get that money back and wonder if I should be nice to him until I get it back or just forget about it and write it off as a bad mistake to loan money to a lover.
Any suggestions would be great. What would you do? Should I get the voice mail number disconnected? I feel so bad when he leaves me sad messages regarding his family life and his dates with other women that go bad. I feel like I've not only hurt my H but also hurt this other man as well, although I want very badly to put my H and my children first and hopefully never talk to this man again. So I guess it's obvious what I should do but I want some reinforcement from others.
I don't want to hurt his feelings even though I never want to talk to him ever again. Is this stupid? Plus he works at a store that I frequent and I know his hours of work and can try to avoid him but that may not always happen in the future. I don't want any hard feelings but I guess I'm not going to be able to avoid it am I?
FWIW, I use this voice mail number for work purposes from time to time. I've thought about just letting him leave enough messages to fill up the voice mail and eventually he might get the point and just forget about me. But I don't know what to do. I guess I could just change the telephone number.
