Well, last night OW sent Halloween candy home for the kids! She never misses a trick (or treat) I have been in this sitch for a long while. Three years ago I heard "I don't know how I feel about you or the kids anymore", Two years ago I heard "I am not in love with you anymore" and 9 months ago I heard "I've started a new R". After "I don't love you anymore" I found DB and it was such a relief. There were all sorts of books telling you how to divorce nicely or get over divorce but nothing for people who wanted to save their M despite their S's betrayal. I started with GAL and that was a lifesaver. I won't list all the things I have changed in my life but I am a much fuller, better person for the efforts I have put in. After A was announced it became even tougher! But, one thing that is important to realize is that the OP is not the problem (they sure have problems, though!). Our M's collapsed because there were things missing and our S's went elsewhere. I try to key on working on those things versus obsessing over that poor, sad OW who sees this kind of pathetic betrayal as her only route to happiness. Wow, how sad is that. The OP is just a fantasy set up by two unhappy people and who will one day discover that this is nothing more than that. The real world will catch up with them. I hope I'm able to hang in there until it does! I hope this helps you.
