Mojo
from cobra's thread.
Well, this isn't completely true. I did want to start up the "Sisters of Mercy Sex" charity because I felt so sorry for many of the men on this BB.

Ive never put you in the "people in general' category that I referred to in my post.
Do you? LOL.
siters of mercy sex. Hmmm. I like it. I can donate funds to my favorite charity, instead of pay for a service, and that means I can count it as a tax write off!!!! Mojo, your a genius. Do they give reciepts?

I think anytime you're seeing somebody as a victim or a villain in a mutually agreed upon by adults situation such as modern marriage, you need to question your perspective.

well put.

If desire is nothing but the search for value and validation then what is love?

Love is a choice. Desire is a value/validation power struggle. speaking of which, I found my desire again. Caroline Kluft thou art my Valkyrie. LOL.

We gain power or strength as we let go of control or we let go of control as we gain strength and power

I think as we gain real strength and power over ourself, and confidnance in our abilty to get what we want, (self validate) we stop trying to control others. Its when we are afraid of not having (fillintheblank) that we try to 'fake' demonstrations of our power, by trying to control others.

For example the neophyte martial artist has to show off/demonstrate his power/ seeks out situations to prove his worth. The wise master, knows what he knows, and doesnt have to prove it to anyone. (actually he has allready proven it and so has Value.) As long as he remains in a group where he is known, he doenst have to prove himself any longer- to the group. Respect. He may be called upon to use his power though.

Another situation would be sexual proficiency. You go thru a period learning how/what to please a woman. But once you have learned, its important to stop 'trying' and just incorporate doing the appropriate actions, into your 'selfish' desire, because that is what she really wants to feel. Your no longer 'trying' to make her cum, which mostly weirds them out. or even expecting her too- in the vacumm of your 'leading the way', which negates her femininity. (yes I know many women have no problem getting there own. This is directed at those with LDW.)

she simply does as a reaction to your energy/desire. Thats how she is designed. She feels pleasure from you 'taking' what you want- in the context that you are doing it in a way that is cognizant of her unique and differant from mens, physical makeup/needs.

Therefore, my new definition of "love" is that it is whatever binds you to the relationship through cycles of miserable desire (feeling one down) and angry disdain (feeling one up).

Nice. There it is. your choice. Which gives you all the power you need.
Interesting emotional referance. Hopefully you have positive emotions tied to both of those states also...

Is it possible to be one up without angry disdain? I dont recollect ever feeling that. Oh wait yes I did. When x turned into a no perspectvie control, flip flopping, indecisive cheater. That kinda pissed me off.

This is only cursorily related, about your Machivellian remark, but Machivelli was simply observing and relating certian dynamics he observed in human relationships. Mostly political. He didnt approve of them, and thought correctly -IMO- that those sorts of power manuevers- that have come to be associated with his name- while real, and very effective, are ultimately self destructive and hurtful to the greater good.

The end does not justify the means.


Ok stuff from your thread.
Basically, I give up. <snort>
Why would you do that when you have been having success, by being your true self?

When you stand up for yourself, are calm cool collected humourous, and fight back you always receive a positive reaction from your H. Thats who you were, who you are and what he loves about you. When you dont put up with his 'crap' behaivior, whether that means calling him a fastidious pr!ck, or obliquely telling your son not to act like a jerk, like his father.
It works for you every time to set those boundaries. Your H wants you to 'toughen up' or be the woman he sees you as when you realate to OP besides him.
KWIM? When he is a d!ck and you personalize it, burst into tears, he gets . What happend to confidant Mojo?

Fight back, while being supportive.
"yep your job is really crappy sometimes. What are you(we?)going to do about it?.'

You showed him where confidant Mojo was when he tested you with the cleavage comments. Nice boundary, nice job on not being reacitve, and you got a positive reaction and a deserved apology.

Ive been thinking about the GAL topic myself.
I think most people use the GAL idea to cause there SO to desire them or create jealousy.
Essentially that makes it a seeking approval activity.
Not going to work.
People who GAL for themselves are attractive because they are HAPPY with what they are doing and who they are.
They are just being and doing things that satisfy themself and not looking for external approval of what they are doing. GAL will not cause OP/SO to desire you. It is taking care of yourself, and fullfilling your own needs. Doing that gives you a PMA and healthy vibe, and a confidant aura. That is what makes the person who HasALife attractive.

Since you were talking about health and walking, I wanted to share some quotes with you. Extrapolate what you want.


Walking is man's best medicine. -Hippocrates
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far. -Thomas Jefferson
The sovereign invigorator of the body is exercise, and of all the exercises walking is the best. - Thomas Jefferson

. . .When I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone, and of good cheer - say traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep - it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best, and most abundantly. Whence and how they come, I know not, nor can I force them... - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart


I don't really want a lot of actual cuddling before sex either
I dont think you are a unique female in this. This used to be a self limiting belief of mine. I knew women wanted reassurance after sex, I thought they needed 'cuddling' prior to sex too. Nope. Show her your desire and get to it. Showing desire is differant then needing her validation/ approval/ being needy.
To be blunt
'Im going to F*ck you senseless'
appears a lot differant then
'I want to have sex with you. Is that OK?'

Really hard to implement if you have a fear of rejection.

There is a lot more to comment on your comments, and you can take the biology/ value/validation/ chemical causants to a really basic level, Nerd. It doesnt change the required actions, or make you any happier knowing though. Gotta think about something though.