I don't really want a lot of actual cuddling before sex either. When I talk about fearing getting "f*cked" without the "cuddling" in a casual encounter, I'm referring more to a general sense of emotional intimacy and good feeling not some sort of need for a Teddy Bear in bed. For instance, I had a lover who would frequently cook for me after sex. To me that is "cuddling". "Cuddling" might also be making an effort to make me laugh during a conversation before sex or making an effort to give me that breasts-only orgasm during sex. I totally agree with you guys that really being wanted is the biggest turn on of all but I think we would all agree with the LD gals that you want to have that feeling that it is sex with YOU that he wants, not just the sex. IMO, the "cuddling" or validation or oxytocin buzz is what gives you that feeling.
It's interesting to note that I get conflicting messages from my Type 4 H regarding how "strong" he wants me to come on. One time I'm too assertive, not vulnerable enough, the next time I'm not assertive enough, too vulnerable. I think the Type 4 in him wants the aggression but the male in him wants more vulnerability or something like that. Basically, I give up.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
