Quote: I have felt the authentic wish to give a hug of comfort to many people on this BB so I'm sure the same is true for others.
Could it be that the oxytocin buzz comes from that warm fuzzy feeling of WANTING to hug, whether or not an actual physical hug follows? Don't get me wrong-- I'm all for the physical hug-- but maybe the oxytocin is kicked off by the reaching out thing. And then of course if one encounters "stiff body" when you reach out with warm, fuzzy feelings, that can set up all kinds of internal conflict.
I'm kind of with IHJ (as I often am ), I don't want a lot of cuddling-- I want to get right to it pretty quick. I want to see evidence of desire from my partner. I want him to want it BAD. When my late H was alive, he talked to the therapist (the same one my bf is seeing now) about my lack of interest in sex and the therapist sent him home with some tasteful and EXTREMELY explicit and erotic videos for us to watch. The therapist mistakenly thought that I was a bit prudish and needed the emotional warm-up and needed to know that Nice Girls could do all the stuff in the video. He got it all wrong-- what I wanted was more aggression from my H, more "taking what he wanted"-- my H was the more reserved one. I gotta say, that therapist has a full, and somewhat distorted, picture of me.
), I don't want a lot of cuddling-- I want to get right to it pretty quick. I want to see evidence of desire from my partner. I want him to want it BAD. When my late H was alive, he talked to the therapist (the same one my bf is seeing now) about my lack of interest in sex and the therapist sent him home with some tasteful and EXTREMELY explicit and erotic videos for us to watch. The therapist mistakenly thought that I was a bit prudish and needed the emotional warm-up and needed to know that Nice Girls could do all the stuff in the video. He got it all wrong-- what I wanted was more aggression from my H, more "taking what he wanted"-- my H was the more reserved one. I gotta say, that therapist has a full, and somewhat distorted, picture of me. 
