Quote: I once read that people who procrastinate do it in pursuit of immortality or to avoid the fear of death. Here's how it works. When you procrastinate you are giving yourself the message that there is time enough to do everything. You choose to do something fun and unproductive rather than something boring and productive because you desperately want to believe that you have time enough to do both. Therefore the cure for procrastination is to get a realistic grip on time and recognize your need to balance fun and boring activities. Developing strict habits and routines is helpful because the more things that a Type 7 can do on "auto-pilot" the better. When a Type 7 can do something in distracted "auto-pilot" mode it's like she's doubling that hour of life experience. For instance, the laundry is done and the bed's are made but her mind spent the hour thinking about the novel she just read or planning a party. Some activities are impossible to do on "auto-pilot" but not exciting, fun or interesting. These are best accomplished by the Type 7 by figuring out how to make a "game" of it. A game needs rules and rewards. So let's say I wanted to organize my basement. I could use the 27 Fling rule that I learned on FlyLady and just throw away 27 things every day until the basement was free of useless clutter. My reward might be I get to set up a hobby workshop in the basement. I HIGHLY recommend the FlyLady site to any Type 7. Basically, I've learned to improve my functioning by reading a billion, jillion organizational, personal motivation and time management books. Much in the same way that you've improved your Type 4 angst functioning by reading self-help books.
This makes a lot of sense. I think another thing procrastinators do (and I'm a procrastinator, too, but when I move in the direction of 1, I stop piddling around and get to work), is they want to have something to look forward to. Sevens are very future-oriented. The can get bogged down in planningplanningplanning and not get around to DOING the thing. By letting things pile up, one ensures that s/he will have something to look forward to.
Another thing he does along those lines is buy something and then never open it or take it out of the box. I'm capable of this, too. When I was a kid, I loved SETS of things, especially a set of crayons or colored pencils. I just liked knowing that I possessed a full SET of something. Often I never used them or even opened them.
It's interesting... my bf and I have a LOT of similar personality traits-- a lot of the stuff he does that bugs me, I can say "I'm capable of that" and I leave him alone.
It's just that when he puts off really important stuff like bringing in SOME income, or not getting a lawyer to meet him in court that I get antsy. I truly do not bug him about every little thing. He wouldn't put up with it, for one thing, and for another, I've learned that you cannot change someone else. I just want to keep him out of debtor's prison. Back when he was letting the court thing slide and it was a real possibility that he might go to jail, I had to ask myself, "If he goes to jail, will I visit him? Will I dump him?" It made me so mad that he might go to jail not because of anything he actively DID, but because he just "let things slide..."
There ARE techniques and tips that would help him, but one runs up against another trait of his: he won't be told what to do by anyone. Even if it was something he was planning on doing anyway, if someone tells him, then he will stop dead in his tracks and put it off. Not just stuff I tell him-- because I tell him very little along the lines of what to do.
Oh well... enough b!tching for a while. These insights of yours have been very helpful.
These insights of yours have been very helpful. 