Quote: Anyway, Mojo, this business of firming up one's own position on these issues and committing to that position before or even instead of ever telling your partner about them is very important.
Right. Though I do agree with the point that Corri made on the other thread that saying "I will not stay in a sexless marriage" is a way to make a stong statement about the value sex holds for you. Communicating the value of sex for you is the best way to reduce validation, IMO. I'm just thinking that some people might have to start smaller than threatening divorce when communicating that value. For instance, what if a HD person were to just approach their spouse on week 1 and say "I like sex." and deal in a mature manner with whatever response/reaction they might get. On week 2, they could say "I like sex so much that I would rather have sex than eat a cheesburger or ride my motorcycle.". On week 3, they could say "I feel so great after I have sex with you that I would rather have sex than get an expensive present." etc. etc. I'm being sort of silly here but my point is that it is proper and effective to make "I" statements about the value of sex but why not start by making "I" statements that you are dead-sure that you can stand behind.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
