LOL. I'm glad you dragged the pretzel/chocolate analogy over here because I had something to add but didn't want to hijack. Once you realize that your spouse separates their need for chocolate from their need for pretzels and you are able to do this too and get your chocolate fix elsewhere, your desire for sex will naturally fall to the extent that you were looking for chocolate or only pretzels that are chocolate-covered. Sex will become "just sex" and your drive will only remain intact to the extent that you like "just pretzels" without the chocolate. However, it is unlikely that your spouse has absolutely no intimacy needs that they need to have filled by sex so eventually they'll start craving a little chocolate with their pretzels too. Then you can start adding back the chocolate until you find a happy sexual balance. Also, if you are liberal with the chocolate in other areas some of it is bound to slop on to your sex life too.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
