Quote: The hardest part for me would be decreasing validation, especially at this stage of our M. But I figure increasing value should be doable.
Well, clearly the reason why you feel like it would be hard to decrease validation at this point in your marriage is that by having an EA you made a move that decreased both value and validation. In general, what I mean by things that add value are things that would make you more desirable as a partner to most women including the fact that you are flexible/perceptive enough to make yourself desirable to any particular woman. For instance, being in shape and giving good gifts would add value for most women. However, one particular woman might get more value from your buff biceps whereas another might get more value from your 6-pack abs and one woman might like diamond jewelery while another would prefer a simple bouquet of daisies etc. etc.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
