White,

I post to you very seldom, so will not make any suggestions to you. However, I want to comment on something that TMW said above:
Quote:

I came here on eve of the seperation from my now xh. Now, almost 18 months later I'm done, over it, moved on ready to literally buy another house, etc. Do I sometimes miss XH, yes. Do I sometimes want him back, yes. I think anyone who has ever been in any type of long term relationship - romantic, work, etc has those thoughts. But we know that was the past and we have to move on in life. Make new beginings, make a new life.



I wonder if this is easier to do when there is a real "break," like a divorce. I have been separated for 15 months and it is getting easier, but I'm not over it. You (WL) were never married, so you also don't have the "benefit"--if I can call it that--of a real ending to your R. I think that makes it more difficult to let go. There's something missing, some kind of letting-go ritual that hasn't occurred.

Actually, a small suggestion: WL, could you devise your own ritual, perhaps? Go to a retreat to mourn, or get some friends together and maybe burn any mementoes you no longer want?

Take care,
Nicola


Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself
My thread: Trusting God's Plan