Okay, this is for two of my favourite people on this board: Whitelight and Finally_Free
FF:Speculating here, but I think WL uses this board as a diary...in tha past such a thing was not public. Remember when you first came on the board and were so fascinating to us...we got to see into the mind of an MLCer. Well, guess waht, you're getting a glimpse into the female mind...scary huh? Yup, we just usually keep it more hidden.
WL's having a tough week...but I also think she coimes here to release her negative feelings...which makes those negative feelings seem constnat since she dumps them off for us to read. Julia Cameron's book the Artist's Way prescribes three long-hand 'morning pages' every day. This is not long hand, but these are serving as WL's catharsis.
Maybe add a Hug to the end of your posts...I don't know, just a thought. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't. I get tired sometimes of having to put little discalimer in what I'm saying too...no offense but, sorry, not trying to be rude but... But then perhaps that is what it takes for some people to take the tough stuff more seriously too. I don't think you are yelling or sounding mean at all...but sice we can;t really hear and must therefore interpret your tone, WL may be hearing you that way. When someone yells at us we have a greater tendency to shut them out. So maybne it would help others to hear you.
That said...it's WL's turn.
If it were someone else saying what FF said I'd be with you on it...rude and inapproprite. But somehow I don't feel that from him. I feel so much concern and caring. You are reading his posts without tone...if he were speaking we all might easily recongise the humour...with truth in humour. And given that he may not understand the diary concept...you could seem overboard to some. We've talked, and reading your post of the 15th did have me concerned--sorry, just read it. But I know you are stronger than this last weeks posts are making you seem. You are having a wave of self-doubt, and that is natural.
Take some time Sweetie, step back and read some of FF's other posts to you--those that follow the ones for which you feel are rude. He defends his words with concern.
...and I noticed you did look back and admit he was correct at one point. Now also consider that he cares.
I think there are those who care and are just too tough or acidic in the way they come-off. And I've gotta tell you, FF is not one of those.
And another thing about him...he's always been good at apologizing when another person feels offended...he apologized here to you.
I thinkn your pain is too raw right now. Step back a bit. Is o wish you were in Washington...cause trust me, you'd be going to Thansgiving with me--seriously. The holidays are a tough time when you feel alone.
I can't say what will happen between you and your x in the future. But consider that you CAN fall-in love with someone else...but you're at a stage where you will always make an excuse. That is okay...you will get through it.
And at the same time consider that he may not be happy. You describe him as happy in photographs...photos can lie.
PS for Finally_Free: Whose life you calling miserable!!! Mine's a barrell of monkeys. Drunk monkeys wearing Lissett's shoes.
And as for thinking Sweetheart should be kissing my ass. For the record, I don't doubt Sweetheart would agree with you. Maybe later.
