Quote: oh and by the way I do not hate you and if you are ready to grow up and be the woman you are destined to be I will be there for you but not a moment sooner.
WL,
I've never posted to you before but I just wanted to let you know that I have read your thread and, from your posts, I can tell that you are an intelligent, compassionate woman who has been hurt by someone close to you (as we all have been at one point or another). Not only that, but I can tell that you ARE growing by facing new situations and challenges on your own and learning how to handle things and to become independent. I found your posts, especially the ones regarding getting back into the dating world, to be very insightful.
Don't ever let anyone dictate to you what type of woman you are destined to be as you will find that out for yourself in your own good time.
I just wanted to tell you not to become disillusioned with the bb as there are many people here who will be there for you and offer their support to you no matter what point you are at in your life.
WL Please dont not post! If it helps you, YOU do it. Do not let one person who has his own issues bring you down. There are bunches of us "blondes" here who want to suupport you.
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
Whitelight I considered intervening, and didn't. Please don't stop posting. We have all been too hurt to tolerate any more bashing on this particular board.
I think there are more sensitive ways of pointing things out to people [that is not to say that I think even the criticism that you got was in any way justified].
We are all here for you, so don't worry about putting your pointof view forward. Part of posting is a healing process, part an exchange of views [and fun], and this helps us to significantly grow. We learn form each other, but I don't think that harsh criticism ever helps people to grwo. Tough love is another matter . . ..!!!
Some of the evils I have to swallow in relation to mutual contacts:
People trying to rewrite history People acting like everything is normal people trying to get me to accept something other than the truth People standing up for the wrong side
Whitelight - I know, it is tough. you have to stand fast in the evil day. That is what integrity is all about. Sticking quietly to your guns, and not accepting half truths, and evasions.
We were none of us perfect in our marriages, but it is quite another thing to accept a pack of lies about the past.
My final word then I'm out of here. whitelight, by resorting to profanity in reply to a person that just apologized to you makes you out in a worse light to anyone seeing things logically. Don't know your whole situation but would advise that you could either find a more positive way to interact with men (which is just about anything but please, thank you and you're welcome are always a good start) or on the other hand continue to surround yourself with women that tell you everything you do is all right no matter what it may be that you do or say. We've all made mistakes in the past, it's where we go from here on out that counts. And on that note, I'm out before being engulfed in potential estrogen flood. Best of luck to all, RJ
Okay, this is for two of my favourite people on this board: Whitelight and Finally_Free
FF:Speculating here, but I think WL uses this board as a diary...in tha past such a thing was not public. Remember when you first came on the board and were so fascinating to us...we got to see into the mind of an MLCer. Well, guess waht, you're getting a glimpse into the female mind...scary huh? Yup, we just usually keep it more hidden.
WL's having a tough week...but I also think she coimes here to release her negative feelings...which makes those negative feelings seem constnat since she dumps them off for us to read. Julia Cameron's book the Artist's Way prescribes three long-hand 'morning pages' every day. This is not long hand, but these are serving as WL's catharsis.
Maybe add a Hug to the end of your posts...I don't know, just a thought. I'm not saying you should or shouldn't. I get tired sometimes of having to put little discalimer in what I'm saying too...no offense but, sorry, not trying to be rude but... But then perhaps that is what it takes for some people to take the tough stuff more seriously too. I don't think you are yelling or sounding mean at all...but sice we can;t really hear and must therefore interpret your tone, WL may be hearing you that way. When someone yells at us we have a greater tendency to shut them out. So maybne it would help others to hear you.
That said...it's WL's turn.
If it were someone else saying what FF said I'd be with you on it...rude and inapproprite. But somehow I don't feel that from him. I feel so much concern and caring. You are reading his posts without tone...if he were speaking we all might easily recongise the humour...with truth in humour. And given that he may not understand the diary concept...you could seem overboard to some. We've talked, and reading your post of the 15th did have me concerned--sorry, just read it. But I know you are stronger than this last weeks posts are making you seem. You are having a wave of self-doubt, and that is natural.
Take some time Sweetie, step back and read some of FF's other posts to you--those that follow the ones for which you feel are rude. He defends his words with concern.
...and I noticed you did look back and admit he was correct at one point. Now also consider that he cares.
I think there are those who care and are just too tough or acidic in the way they come-off. And I've gotta tell you, FF is not one of those.
And another thing about him...he's always been good at apologizing when another person feels offended...he apologized here to you.
I thinkn your pain is too raw right now. Step back a bit. Is o wish you were in Washington...cause trust me, you'd be going to Thansgiving with me--seriously. The holidays are a tough time when you feel alone.
I can't say what will happen between you and your x in the future. But consider that you CAN fall-in love with someone else...but you're at a stage where you will always make an excuse. That is okay...you will get through it.
And at the same time consider that he may not be happy. You describe him as happy in photographs...photos can lie.
PS for Finally_Free: Whose life you calling miserable!!! Mine's a barrell of monkeys. Drunk monkeys wearing Lissett's shoes.
And as for thinking Sweetheart should be kissing my ass. For the record, I don't doubt Sweetheart would agree with you. Maybe later.
Quote: I guess I just need to make a clean break. (Ya'll are probably thinking, Halleluia!)
I'm not sure there is such a thing as a "clean" break. Grief is a cyclical process and we all get to through it a little different. It's ok to miss what you have as long as you don't let it stop you from living your life.
Quote: At least I know now that I could be with somene who treated me well, now just need to meet the right one.
So what defines the right one? What is WL looking for? I get a sense that you are questing for a direction your life should go in this.
Quote: At least I'm not blaming anyone anymore. So I'll cut myself some slack,too. Life is really long and I am still quite young. What is the hurry to have everything I want right at this moment?
I've got this problem too. You're not alone on this one. I've read a lot of threads that echo the same sentiment.
Now for thanksgiving... no one should be alone. Don't you have family you could visit? What state do you live in?
Me: 45 W43 S7, Foster S9 (Planning to adopt post divorce) D mentioned Feb 2015, Wife served 3/24/2015. She moved out 4/15/2015.
Finally free can come on these boards and call people all sorts of names, bimbos etc. He can make fun of me and come up with a comic strip about me, but I can't make the joke of FF, F off? Give me a break! It's a nice literary line. It opens itself up for it.
If you can dish it out, you can take it!
That said, he has had some helpful things to say. I have never banned him from my threads. I simply stated that I was offended by the comic strip and made a retalitory joke.
THat said, thank you for posting, I don't know that I've seen you around before, I'll look into your thread.
Best of luck to all, RJ 
