This is NOT what I expected!

[InHisHands]

There is definitely a pattern. H has always believed that his circumstances control him. He has alwys seen himself as a victim. He truly believes that the only thing in life that he can control is the people around him. He really believes that people and circumstances MAKE him behave the way he does. He cannot see that it might possibly be the other way around.

The history is that my son has had a life of pure Hell . . . He was abandoned by his own father, he was raised by a mother who didn't have a clue how to raise kids, he had an accident when he was 9 that left him slightly disfigured and horribly insecure. After I married H, my son was sent to a Boys Ranch because H convinced me that it was best for S. He came back in August and H decided it was time to get out, of course leaving S to believe that HE is the reason for H's behavior. The history, in a nutshell, is that I have failed my son over and over and over again. The pattern is that H preys on weakness to make himself feel strong. The problem is that H will never see his own contributions to his own situations. The question is, why bother?

I and my kids will never be allowed to have opinions, thoughts, or feelings that H doesn't approve of without having to endure his rage, verbal or (apparently) physical. It was this way before, then we agreed to a "new & improved" marriage, he managed that for 2 weeks and now he's back. I can't take it & I can't ask my kids to take it.