This is NOT what I expected!

[InHisHands]

I only have a second, then I have to go to work and try to make myself focus on WORK while I'm there!
It started bad last night, H did not want to talk to me or hear from me. He was short & kind of mean the whole night. So, I sent an email basically saying what you guys said, that the deadline was for my own protection, it served a purpose at the time and now I see that it no longer has a purpose, etc.

He ignored it and was mad at me the rest of the night, so I went to bed. Then he came in and wanted to talk. He started the same old finger-pointing & blaming me for everything and I finally said there's no point in this . . . I know his lines by heart and if he's going to keep doing the same thing he's done all along, I'm just not interested in the conversation.

I rolled over to go to sleep (one of my BIGGEST 180s, I used to think we had to "resolve" everything right away), and somehow the tone changed. He said that I really hurt him. He said he now knows what I meant when I said it was like he stuck a knife in my heart in August because that's how he felt now. He said that I made him mad a lot in our marriage, but that he can't remember a time I've ever hurt him until now. Of course, I was thinking that must be nice, all I remember is him hurting me over & over, but I didn't say that. I listened & I validated.

There was much more, but I think it ended well. I apologized but didn't grovel. I admitted to my wrongs but didn't take 100% responsibility for the break-down.

Thank you again for helping me through my setback, I don't know where I would be if I hadn't found these boards, but I know I probably wouldn't have been in my husband's arms last night!