This is NOT what I expected!

[twist_of_fate]

If you need your relationship with your husband to hold you together, something's out of whack.

tlover, boy this phrase is a cold bucket of water on my face, I needed it

InHisHands, NOTHING you can do will make your H go back to God, I'm on teh same boat, my H also was a very conservative christian & we married putting the Lord first, now he doesn't even go to church...yet.
Only God can open that door, not even yourself can assure your own salvation, it's a gift from God, a gift he must be willing to receive, so don't put that burden on you.

What I do pray for and what you can do is pray for YOURself to be a silent testimony to him with actions, not words. Let's be a living testimony for His glory in a way that we are mirrors of Him, have you read "the power of a praying wife"? it's all about women praying for their Hs, not preying nor nagging them into doing stuff.

I totally hear you, I just came fresh from a "you dont' care, tell me I'm sexy" tantrum, I understand. Just imagine, each time you corner your H you push the healthy R farther back a few miles, the healing a few more months.

About him telling you he feels old and tired, that's the SAME thing my H told me!! you know what? I think our insistence makes them feel that way, our pressure. I bet if we were to let go and make them feel we are their safe place to land they wouldnt feel this way.

We all come with all sorts of idealistics ideas to an M, I think that's what killing you, the dissapointment of how it turned out, we all have this fantasy idea of M and now when our "ideal" has evaporated we complain and whine. Well, that isn't going to get us anywhere.

What's done is done, we are beginning a new R, stop living in the past, remember your wedding day for what it was, a wonderful day, it wasnt' a lie, you were beginning a new life together with a clean sheet. Begin a new clean sheet now.

Again, please get "healing the hurt in your marriage" I was up the part of "Reconstructing the trust" It compared it to Nehemiah rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem, how many setbacks he had, how the people got discouraged because the place was in shambles and their faith wavered, how they feared attacks from their enemies all the time. They didnt' run, they worked with one hand on their work and another holding a spear, they had to be prepared for attacks, and that's how it is now, the enemy wants you and I to fail, but remember that verse that says that if you get closer to God the enemy will run away from you?

Stop pushing your H, he feels low enough. You can't take back what you say, buy you can show him acceptance everyday, by not putting any more pressure on him and by taking one step at a time you can go back to building your M again.