This is NOT what I expected!

[toughlover]

Toughlover, one of the worst things about this reconciliation is that God is not a part of it.

I know how you must feel but that just isn't true. God hates divorce. Marriage is truly something designed by God. God is there. Part of the problem may be that you're so focused on yourself and your own pain you can't see beyond it. That's okay. Even Jesus felt forsaken by God on the cross. But the issue here isn't getting God involved; he already is. The issue is getting yourself in line with Him. And you know how to do that.

I had hoped that my faith would be strong enough to lead my husband back to Christ, but it appears to be working the other way.

It can appear all kinds of ways. Solomon, I think, prayed to God and God didn't answer him for 13 years. Just because it isn't happening in the time frame YOU want doesn't mean it isn't happening. Sounds like you're still doing things because you want him back. Understandable. You need to detach...and that's perfectly consistent with focusing on your relationship with God.

A big mistake Christian spouses make is allowing themselves to expect their husband or wife to meet spiritual needs that can only be met by God. Think about it. If you need your relationship with your husband to hold you together, something's out of whack. I know cause I did the exact same thing with my W.

You have to grow in your walk with God and get strong. Then you will be able to love your H out of that strength. That will be a light that will help him see where you are and find his way back to you if he chooses to do that.

If not, you will be okay because you will be stronger. Remember, God designed, created, blesses, and strengthens marriage, but your H has free will and is free to reject what's right, reject God, and even reject you. Love is a choice as you know.

Is there any way to undo the damage I did last night,

Listen you're both dealing with enough damage in the marriage that whatever happened last night won't make or break anything. Just don't do it anymore.

or should I just put it behind me

Do that too.

and hope for the best?

Don't hope for the best. BE the best you can be by following Christ and put your hope in that. As Paul points out in Romans (and someone around here (maybe AmyC?) has it in their sig: suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character, and character produces hope.

And that includes all the DB stuff about 180s, GAL, PMA, etc.

You sound like a very sweet and loving person. Detach, get independent and strong by relying on God and doing the stuff you know you need to do. That's your best shot, I think, at your husband being able to see you clearly and see what he'd truly be giving up.

Quit pressuring him. That never works.