whatis, thanks for checking in. I am still in the boat so to speak. My biggest problem is effective communication at a deep level that leaves her feeling loved, respected, adored, etc. I have difficulity asking good probing questions of what she is feeling. Unfortuntly she is still communicating with OM, even though she had said she stopped. I caught her and confronted her about it. More hurt about the lying than the actual act. I should not be suprised from what I have read on the bb that this would happen. I need to focus on acting as if. Be the husband and father I want to be and let the chips fall will they may. Validating her feelings is a new skill set for me as well as learning to how to be her friend. Unfortuntly I am at a place where my every move is anaylized and reanaylized by more than just my w. She has made this all about me; however, if all we talk about is me then she feels a lack of respect and value. If I talk about her she quickly concludes that I am saying it is her fault for where we are. Need to remain focused on detaching from the old behaiver of ignoring the issues and hoping they would go away. If I do not confront issues I leave her frustrated. Trying to use problem solving skills; however, I have been very poor at gathering the data; therefore, I need a KITA to move forward. I am also trying to drop the rope and not compete. I have done a good job of understanding where we are at and where we both want to be, just not a good job of putting together a plan to get there.
