Glad to hear your wife cancelled her trip. Obviously you are not out of the woods but that is good just for the simple fact you will not be tortured while she was gone.
Her snooping on you and accusing is probably pretty typical. My wife did sort of the same...encouraging me to go out and meet people etc...makes it easier for them to go down the path that they want to explore...a way to deal with their guilt. If they can get you to do some things that are negative they feel justified in their mind to do things.
Keep DB-ing...really sit and think about what is/was missing in your marriage that has gotten you to this point and start making changes.
She may be making an effort to stop communicating with the other man it is going to be a real struggle for her. Give her some space...support...she will likely be very depressed. It would seem easier if she was more open with you so then you could openly offer some support but I guess in the end this is really something only she can do. I really hope she is going down the path of wanting to salvage your marriage and stop what she is doing. Just be a good/great man and do not give her any excuse to retake the other path.
Don't really understand your pain reference...maybe you could be more specific?
As for GAL...listen to what your wife says if anything...has she made any suggestions as to what she would like changed? If she still complains about things in your marriage...listen and start making changes...make them lasting changes...she may have stopped complaining at some point...this is typical of WAW...this is probably when she started giving up on the marriage and started planning her out...but if she used to complain what did she complain about? Maybe do more things with your kids and give her some free time.
Good luck...
"Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."
