Great suggestions. I did feel myself making progress last week with working on myself, detaching from the old behaiver which revolves around how I communicate with my wife. Unfortuntly I have started backsliding into that old communcation behaiver these past few days partly due to the fact that I know she is meeting this other guy and the fact that she is still lying to me. I am becoming the OM best friend with my actions and need to move back to DBing. I struggle with the fact that the main breakdown in our R was dishonesty, she had difficulty explaining to me in a way I would understand how she really felt. I had difficulty opening myself up to her which I realized with help from a C caused by abandonment and rejection issues, and in looking back I have not always been completly honest with her with what I thought were trival items. With all that being said a R is built on trust and honesty, two things that we do not have. She is lying about the upcomming weekend and I am not being honest by sharing the info I have. I want to move to the point that if we move forward that is OK and if we do not that is OK. I am ammazed at how much progress I have made as a person through this very painful process. I think I have heard if you are in HELL walk fast, lol. The children our my achiles heal. I believe that my W is still experencing postpartum depression and the OM has become the drug to get her through it. With that being said one of us has to do what is best for the children and that is me right now in our R. How do you protect the children when there are threats of taking them to a different state with OM that will leave his only child? Two people running away from life want to raise the children that we had together. It changes the dating game a little with the aspect of the two children. I did not marry or fall in love with her because I had to. I feel more presure when I look at their two faces and the fact that they are depending on me for their future. I know I am projecting; however, I made a commitment to them for life and I am having difficulty seeing how I can pick up and move and still be able to provide not only the standard of living they have become accustomed to, but just a basic standard of living. I wanted them to have what I did not growing up, which drove me to work long hours to provide this lifestyle. I apoligize for rambling; however, I thought it might help to understand my situation in my head. Attorney's push one direction, C pushes another direction, family and friends take sides and two children sit in the middle. What I would not do or give to remove them from the middle.
