F_S, The first month or two of the sitch is really tough. You are trying to deal with a trauma that has been imposed on you and at the same time trying to figure out what to do! I was always thankful that my kids were there (as you are) because I would have walked too. Detachment is really hard in this initial stage. Just do your best cuz only when you are detached can you come up with a real plan to work towards saving your M. Expect to be a crazy man the weekend she goes away. Plan some stuff to keep yourself busy with the kids, friends, do something special for yourself but DON'T sit around thinking about what it probably happening, it's too emotionally crippling to do so. Try to think about how you are going to address the things you see as missing from your M. If you don't listen plan how you are going to change your listening skills, if you don't do anything together think of something you might do with your W, if you aren't romantic think of little things you can do to be romantic. I don't know if any of these examples are relevant to your sitch but, if not, I hope they help start you down the right thinking path here. The pain of betrayal is immense so feel it, manage it and think "what now?" I hope this helps.
