Need Help wife taking EA to PA

[MTHeart]

How have you dealt with the thought of protecting yourself and children and at the same time sit back as your wife choses to carry on with the A. I realize what I am talking about is boundries; however, it is a delicate issue that a wrestle with daily. If it was just me it would be easy; however, I believe one of the parents has to put the children's needs first. Anyway I was just wondering if anyone else had these same thoughts. Thanks

LORD YES!!! Just about every concious moment of every day since April when spouse announced her affair, followed by an announcement of all my shortcomings, followed by telling me that I'd better not try to take D7 "away" because spouse was "a good parent"


I struggle with "boundaries" vs "lines in the sand". I want to say "pick one, her or me and get on with it" and set a boundary BUT I know my spouse and that she does not react well to either/or options. I also know she is a person who will cut off her nose to spite her face...meaning if I say "go until you decide" and she goes, she will NOT come back because her pride will stand in her way. (gee I'm making her sound attractive aren't I?)I know my spouse doesn't really know what she wants because she has told me that repeatedly in words and actions. So:
I try to get to this - I am making a choice to put up with her immature behavior for "X" amount of time and spare daughter so that if daughter has to live through a break up she only has to do it once. Plus with spouse in home I get more chances to DB. What you and I must do is find our PERSONAL boundaries and how to exercise them....suggestions?

I'm thinking about patroling mine with a baseball bat or building a long fence around my borders but...no wait, that's Mexico, not me...sorry. Humor, very sorry humor.