Quote: She has stated that she is in love with someone else and that she does not love me anymore. (OUCH)
If you read around this is the most typical response that everyone gets from a WAS. They are currently in their own little fantasy world with no worries in the world. You sitch is so common to almost everyother sitch on this board including mine.
What you have to do now is to figure out what you want with your life. Do you want to save you M or not? I know my W continues to hide the fact that she is doing stuff with the OM because I believe she does not want to hurt me anymore than she already has. However, the story goes like this....IT IS NOT ABOUT THE OM. It is about what was lacking in your M that caused the seperation. The OM is just someone filling the needs that you and your W did not fill together. So first and foremost you need to forget about him and focus on what you want. Focus on how you were when she fell in love with you. What was it about you that made her so passionately in love with you that she decided to M you? Once you figure this out fix those things within yourself. You can not control what the WAS is going to do no matter how much you want to.
As far is why is this so hard. I and many others believe this is a lot harder than a death of a parent or a very close realitive. You just had everything you wanted walk away and the issue that makes this even harder is the reality that this person is still right in front of you.
One last thing I want to try and explain is that you need to start to process your feelings. How do you feel right now? What is it that you are afraid of and or scared of? If you do not process your feeling you will not be able to heal yourself. which is the first step to trying to save your marriage. Head off sitch and onto you.
There are a lot of very smart people here that will be willing to help that are alot further along the process than I am. All you have to do is keep posting and be honest about your sitch and you will make several friends that are all in the same boat. That is what the great thing about this BB is. We all feel your pain because we are all going through it.
Keep you Chin up and watch out for the zone blitz. It will come out of know where and set you back.
OSU
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
