One difference is my W claims she is not in love with OM...she says she no longer trusts men and does not want any longterm relationships. If she wanted a relationship she would stay with me. She thinks men make a lot of promises up front and then get lazy. She wants that magical new love passion to last forever (simply does not happen)...has a very unrealistic view of longterm relationships. Just wants to be on her own. I kind of believe her because I know she is working on relationships with a few other men...so she is not even loyal to her OM and tells him they are not dating...just friends with benefits. She just wants to be single and have no other responsibilities in her life...live her life on her terms. She had a rough childhood...very religious stifling...got married when she was 18 to escape home...divorced him and was in a relationship with me within 3 months...so she really has never been out on her own...so I do understand her need for this but unfortunately screws me over in the process.
She actually still wants to date me...not sure how I feel about this? I really just want to remain friends with her but it is still hard because I do love her and if she feeds my ego and emotions it is very hard not to fall back into that trap. Makes it very hard because of our son and we will still spend a lot of time together for his sake. Our plan right now is to spend one day a week at each others place and swap weekends with him...still do some stuff as a family just so he can have at least a little bit of a normal childhood...he is still too young to comprehend what is happening...this is still the hardest thing for me is that he will not grow up with both of us in the same house in a healthy environment. If she eventually comes to me and tells me she want to be married again I am not sure how I will be able to handle it.
Personally I am going to counseling and that has helped me...plus posting on this board once in awhile...talking to friends. I hate being in this situation and am still going through a range of emotions...from denial...to anger..to depression...to grieving...to acceptance...a lot of ups and downs but I feel like I am getting better slowly...just a long way to go. Taking it a day at a time.
Hope my story helps...
"Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth."
