Oh! so that explains it.

[MJontheMend]

I think that you are projecting a good attitude in this post, an attitude that will be productive for you if not your marriage.

He's a teddy-bear and a paycheck. Well that's OK. Now all I need to know is what he needs me to be. I have a feeling Mojo and Corri might know the answer to that.

Yeah, right. Hmmmm....I think the best answer might be to assume that your H wants what most men want. Not because he is necessarily like most other men but because his ego strength is probably most stroked by believing that he is either like most other men or better than most other men. Therefore, if you don't think one of you current attributes or behaviors is something that would draw men to you if you were to post it in a personal ad for general consumption then I would suggest that might be something you could change to add value in your marriage. For instance, if you wouldn't post a personal ad that said " I take very little care with my appearance, spend way too much money at the mall and frequently nag my H about this and that." then you shouldn't do any of those things. Don't get caught in the trap of tit-for-tat as in "I only spend too much money at the mall because I am bored on the weekend because you do nothing but drink and watch sports on TV.". The way to build "value" or really "character" is to be as consistent as possible in your behavior no matter what the circumstances. For instance, the political prisoner thrown into a black hole who continues to do calesthenics every morning and say his prayers at night. I know it sounds pathetically "goody-two-shoes" but I believe that people who behave in that manner are actually happier.