cobra: No, I do not subscribe to the serenity prayer. It is much too fatalistic. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Corri: I believe the serenity prayer, in saying 'accepting things you cannot change,' is referring to past behaviors. You cannot undo the past, and there is no reason whatsoever to wallow in self-pity, which keeps you from changing the present or the future (changing the things that you can). The wisdom in knowing the difference, I believe, is referring to acceptance, and not backsliding into self-pity or self-loathing for things which you cannot undo. Having the power to understand that you will trip and stumble, maybe even revert at times to old behaviors, but also having the conscious awareness to know that when you do slip, you pick yourself and try again.
Let's not forget one of the bits of wisdom from this board, namely, that the only thing you can change directly is YOU. You cannot change someone else. Something you do may in fact shift the dynamics of the sitch such that the other person changes, but the basic law of nature is that you can only directly change yourself.
So one of the things that the serenity prayer asks you to accept is the FACT that you cannot change someone else. It does not ask you to accept someone else's unacceptable behavior, just to accept the fact that you cannot MAKE them stop doing the unacceptable behavior. This comes in handy when dealing with alcoholics.
