Quote: Otherwise, where are the success stories to prove me wrong? Hope is not an operative word for someone who is already insecure! Hope is based on faith, and when someone has a traumatic past, there is no hope. Putting your faith in the hands of another is the hardest and scariest thing you can do. Corri, you know this all too well. So why propose someone do just that in order to repair the marriage? The reason there are so few success stories on this board is becoming very clear to me.
I suppose it will depend on how you define success. I personally see a lot of success on this board. What I find interesting is I've seen one, maybe two, men succeed, and many more women succeed.
Quote: The philosophy I see on this board is that you fix yourself first in the hopes that your spouse will then give you the comfort you want. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t. In fact I think the majority of the time it does not work.
What is marked in bold is where you and I divert. If you change you in order to get something from someone else, you may as well save yourself the time. This, I believe, is where people still experience their difficulties.
Again, we essentially agree in theory. I don't care how you get there, Cobra. Do whatever works for you. If you are seeing progress with your methods... share them and keep going.
You still do not understand the nature of power, and of a power struggle, nor does any other person on here who is not seeing some sort of progress. That is not a criticism. It is very hard to see, even harder to fix... harder still to put it behind you consistently.
I never advocated putting hope in the hands of another. That isn't hope. That's manipulation. I personally believe hope comes from within, but that is my personal belief.
