Interesting book, Fran. I see how the concept of one-up/one-down has applied to my own marriage...lots of control dynamics,with essentially H and I exploiting each other to make up for a lack of healthy esteem ( on both our parts). Hopefully he and I are maturing and developing a more solid sense of ourselves, where we feel truly like we have value individually and feel lucky to have one another. I am working on being the best person I can be, and H has recently said the same thing. Hopefully we can manage to drum up desire for each other...without all the drama. It does seem like power and control issues serve as powerful aphrodiasiacs, at least initially...until it all gets out of hand, resentments brew, people shut off, etc. A whole new way of relating then has to be developed.
