We have seen and read ( and felt) what begging and pleading does in these sitches, I think. It is desperation. I think that desperation breeds anger, insecurity and self pity.
Is there such a thing as "the silent desperate spouse" (SDP) ? You know, the spouse who cant focus his or her life on him (her) self but instead keeps the WAS as the "most important person " in his life yet knows it is self defeating to actually vocalize this directly to the other "spouse" ? So.. Instead he or she avoids the self ? Does this make any sense ?
Time and energy is drained thinking about the other person instead of the positive act of self devotion so that either/and 1). self improvement for the individual occurs, or 2). WAS gets it that the grass is not greener.
