Forgive me if I prodded you on any issues you don't want to discuss. You are free to withhold anything you don't want to let the public know.
Sorry for your eye...but that can be part of this as well. I know men feel threatened when the W has an A. It really rips the core of your manhood. But in retrospect, the WAW never means to hurt the S. I know it seems redundant.
However, you seem to be in a better place tonight. That is good news...don't worry about your self-esteem right now. Sometimes, when we get real low, we do our best thinking. You need time to feel your thoughts.
Before, you said that you are an emotional man...there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you don't go overboard. Feel you, find out what pushes your buttons and find ways to overcome those fears.
You want to work on the R, but first you need to be whole within yourself. What is the worse scenario? Will you die? No. Will it be scarey? Yes.
Btw, Stephen Hawkins, the great scientist, who happens to be a quadraplegic, up in the years; just filled for divorce from his wife. Physicalities have no bearing on what you carry around in your heart. Don't let that ever hold you back...ever. Do you hear me?
Before I was married, I dated a guy who was a neurological nurse. He dumped me for a beautiful blonde girl, who was permanetly in a wheelchair since she was 16 yrs. old. She had broken her spine. I was upset to say the least, but she wanted to meet me and we met. He later married her and I was so happy for both of them. Especially him, it took a lot of time to take her back and forth to the hospital, etc. They truly were meant for each other. The girl was the sweetest person that I have ever met.
Getting back to you - if you can keep your head together and give your W space, she'll see what she is missing. But this change will take a long time. Be patient, be upbeat, don't dwell on what she's doing, don't dwell on Om.
Work on you, bond closely with your kids. Let your mind have a couple of days off - it's working overtime. This will help you collect your thoughts.
Just dive into any pity pools. See what happens Thursday, papers mean nothing until they are filed. She may not even bring them over.
Get some rest and don't keep beating yourself up...
