I read through your thread and about half of the posts. You are getting good advice from a lot of people.
However, there are two things that bother me, really bother me.
1. The degrading name you called your W. I know that you didn't mean to say that, but you did. Whatever would posess you to think that, much less say it? The woman that you asked to marry you, the woman that you love so much and are literally dying to get back, the woman who bore your children!! Do you have any idea what that did to your M? Some women can overlook the name and some cannot. You really hurt her...bad. Unless you know for a fact that she's sleeping all over town AND getting paid for it, you need to lose that piece out of your vocabulary. It's equivalent to calling an African-American the "N" word. You can apologize from here to eternity, but your W will never forgive you.
If you need to argue, use the issues only; never, ever, do you personally attack another person. Argue smart.
2. You and your W need to separate from each other for about three months. Yes, there are kids and your business that will keep you connected; but you both need to be in separate corners, now. You need to start listening to yourself and finding out what it is that you want. You need to lay off calling her or OM or even TM.
You are way out of control. You are pushing her out the door...
My main concern is that I'm not convinced that you even love her anymore. IMO, I feel that b/c she has the OM, you feel desparately ignored. Your "gloating" about how she's going to feel when you do this and that... really disturbs me. That's not misguided love, that is something more sinister. There's more to this case than you're letting us to believe...there's more to this story.
You need to get into some anger management classes; work closer with a Therapist. There is definitely more that you haven't told us.
IMO, honestly, I feel you are in love with the idea of love, that you love being married - but, none of it has anything to do with your W. The fear of being left behind paralyzes you to move forward. I really don't feel that you love her, it's as though you depend on her for your existence.
It also seems to me that when she leaves, you will go out of your way to make her life miserable. Conquer and destroy.
You really need to see a Therapist, to calm down b/c you are on a self-destruvtive course.
CM - my opinions are my own, they aren't stated to hurt you...only to help you.
There is a much darker side to you than you let on... I need to know what that is...