What a beautiful realization you have. I am very pleased to hear this. No, silly, you didn't hi-jack my post at all - people need to hear these things...
BUT...take it one step further...where did she learn this from? Why yes, of course, you and your W. All children come into the world with a clean slate...they formulate their personalities and traits through the parents.
Thus, she learned it from both of you...now, return to that person you were, back then...learn from her now... emulate your D9. If you can keep that learning consistent, then I would say your W will follow, in due time.
I'm very happy you posted this revelation...you're using your head...not emotions.
You are changing little by little...this very well could be your "break through"!!! Go with it...
