Good for you! You sound like you're really getting this down...now apply this knowledge into action. Yes, it very well seems like a death; but you need to go back and recall all the happier times that you both had. From there, recall what made her happy, thrilled, excited etc.
Sometimes, when families focus 95% of the time on their children, they forget that the S came first. Each day there s/b time for each other; but atlast, the kids cry, work calls, the a/c went out, etc. and then we go to bed and do it again the next day. The H feels neglected, the W overwhelmed, the kids need 100% of the attention...and the pile begins to smoulder, then catch on fire. Some marriages continue on the course until they die, very unhappy. Others, one S or another leaves signals.
Yes, marriage is a commitment, be it legal and/or spiritual. But no where, it is written, that it's guaranteed for life. Who knows, maybe in the next 100 years, man won't even continue with M.
What I am saying, is to protect what you have...nurture it to the best of your ability. We marry, then assume it's forever...let our guard down...become "just friends" and wonder what happened? In marriage, there are three componets:
1. You 2. Spouse 3. The couple
You both entered into the M as two people, then became one, then, the dynamics of friends changed, some left, new ones came, or you both excluded most of them. Each S should retain a separate life with their own interests, etc. Then, there's the couple thing.
Love is not a posession, it's not controlling. No where, does it say your S s/b exactly like you, or agree with everything you say or do...they are as individualistic as you - the common part is the love and respect.
If one S wants to go somewhere and you don't, you have two choices; go out of respect for S interest, or don't go and happily wish them a good time...
Life was never that hard...we let go...we ignore each other...now we are paying for it in return...........
Whatisis, apply that knowledge that you have now, let me know how you are doing? Gods speed my friend...