NDY Hey, how ironic. I went to post, but my login had expired so I had to re-login and in that time YOU posted. I read your thread during the night at work and was struck by a lot of what you said. I too can relate to your feelings of "not done yet" and still thinking that things could be reconciled. And while XW hasn't remarried I wouldn't be surprised if she does w/in a year. Hell the D has only been final 6 months and she's gone through one BF and has just moved into the "basement apt" of the latest BF (they mey in July!) I keep telling myself that she needs to have this experience and for it to blow up in her face like OM did last year. That maybe then she will realize this isn't about ME, but about HER issues.
Quote: I guess what still bothers me is how disposible marriage is, even among those who advocate it.
I too have a problem w/ this. Esp. since XW is devout Catholic. She claims she has a "biblical right" to divorce because of my A in 1989! Never mind the fact she told me repeatedly she forgave me. Never mind she got involved w/ OM; her take is once she told me the marriage was over, all bets were off, she was free to date. WTF!???? And D15 buys into this crap! I especially have a problem w/ all the people who stood by (the CATHOLIC CHURCH CHOIR!) and did/said nothing, or very little. NOBODY to my knowledge said HEY, THIS IS WRONG! They all just kinda pretended it wasn't happening.
I do feel that you need to completely move on. I am trying to do so b/c then IF the opportunity ever presents itself for XW and I to rekindle our attraction to each other... it won't be w/ one of us stuck in the past. It will be b/c we find each other attractive THEN, in the here and now so to speak. I know in my heart and soul that as difficult as it would be to put things back together... THAT IS what God wants, HE WOULD help us, and we WOULD make it. I KNOW this. Which is pretty weird as XW was the "churchgoer" not me. I was just kinda quietly faithful. She wants nothing to do w/ a reconciliation. Actually the day after the bomb I hacked an email from her to OM basically saying that HE was GOD'S answer to her prayers! WTF is this? God wants you to leave your marriage for a guy in the choir? I DON'T THINK SO!!! Read my HELLBENT thread for the full story! It's a doosie, but then there are a lot of strange stories here!
Have you gotten ANY indication from your XH that he would EVER feel for you again? Any indication of regret for marrying OW? What are your ages? How do the kids feel about things/him?
