somebody tell me the positive side of this

[MTHeart]

ok, I have talked to Dottie (DB coach) and each time she tells me this is a "positive" situation. This week she told me there was more good than bad in the current happenings. ie:
Spouse still living at home
Spouse indicating great interest in family events
Spouse spending less regularly scheduled time with OW
Spouse repeatedly says "I'd change this if I could"
(pardon me for not screaming "who the hell do you think CAN change this? WTF?)

However when it gets down to the nuts and bolts and she puts on her shoes and says "I'm going now" and I ask "when will you be back" and the answer is "in the morning" I am somehow unable to see the positives. Somehow unable to get beyond how thoughtless and f***ing gutless this is on her part. Somehow unable to see what the hell my next move should be except to walk around the house wailing.

Is this like the old joke where the kid enters the barn full of horse $hit and just "knows there a pony in there somewhere"?

I feel so totally unable to do/take any more. Maybe it's a phase of the moon or maybe it's reality. I no longer know.
Observations? Words of wisedom? Funiture polish, Whatisis?
HELP ME BEFORE I DIE! (yeah, it's dramatic but it's how I feel)