I'm wondering this. Is twice a week in a committed R really your upper limit or is it merely your upper limit because you are the keeper of the sex calendar and that lowers your drive?
In a parallel situation, I notice that if I initiate a lot I will get more sex from H - however, I also get more half hearted sex from H. If I bring up sex and the lack of it in our R I will also get more sex. In both situations I find that I'm not really all that wildly interested. It takes a lot of mental energy to defocus on H's lack of passion and focus on my natural sexual energy. Lately, I've initiated nothing and we've had very little sex - once a week on the average, twice on vacation. However, H was there wholeheartedly, he's been more playful in between and has been doing romantic gestures quite a bit. Given the built up goodwill we have going where I see that he has a certain amount of desire for me, I'm comfortable with a moderate libido. However, if he got really amped up one week and boinked me five times I'll bet I could keep up quite nicely. I would like to get things up to twice a week but the dilemma I am in is what happens if I start initiating again? Will he go all uninterested again? Will I get all uncomfortable and insecure again? How this parallel's your situation is that I think that there are partner cues/behaviors that occur a lot in early R's that help keep that desire at a heightened level. Is your low intensity a result of your biological state and length of R or is it because there aren't enough arousal creating behaviors on the other end?
Not trying to stir up trouble because if you can happily live with once/week than by all means... Corri's suggestion is quite good. I think that part of what the schedule concept misses is the ability to adjust to changing conditions - Corri's plan allows a little surprise in there.
