My personal experience regarding drive seems to mirror yours to some extent. I seem to go through some cycles at times, more like seasons as one poster put it, but I still believe the drive is influence by anger or aggression. The more frustrated I am in the marriage, the less I get, but also the higher the drive becomes. Furthermore, whatever sex I do get is unsatisfying and I am right back into high drive the next day. Right now, things are fairly stable, frequency is OK (not great but much better than before) and my drive is moderate.
But I am fairly sure that if we go back to the old ways and I have to endure a prolonged period of starvation, wonder when the next encounter will occur (or if it will occur), my anger and resentment will start to build and my drive will sky rocket too. If frequency is restored, it will take some time for my drive to lessen, but eventually it will. I’ve seen this same phenomenon mentioned several times on the board, so I think there is a link. I don’t think you misjudged your drive. I think it varies with the sitch.
