I'd get you a drink, but I see you allready have your glass of whine. HAHAHAHA. Im kidding, I am sooo kidding. LMAO. How bout some cheese to go with that? HAHAHAHA <whew>
OK first I wanted to say thanks. For some reason thinking about your post and UD recent comments jogged a bunch of memories loose. I wont bore you with the details, just share the lightbulb.
You are too surrendered too your H. (I am only speaking to Mojo. ) I say this because of the fullness of the picture you have painted of your H and your sitch.
but things have been good enough lately that I had built up a sort of vat of good will towards him that allowed me to believe that he was just in a bad mood for some reason that didn't have to do with sex. So, I didn't react in any sort of bad way. Just indicated that I was sorry he was feeling funky and went about my business the rest of the day
Im gonna talk about this, towards the male perspective for a moment. Many men when they (finally!) receive sex --- they are so ecstatic about it that they are ready and willing to run around doing every little whim of the woman (diamond ring? massage? the world at your feet? thankyou thankyou thankyou for the sex whoo hooo!) That is not showing appreciation. Its giving more value then is appropriate. Its so far out of proportion to what really happened....
back to you, you did not stick to your boundary, of twice a week. You were afraid of his badmood, had good feelings from the previous good weeks, and general state of the M. Understood. Whatever his reason for doing it, your H shows a grump mood and your boundary disapperas. Thats not the mindset, nor the personality that got you to where you were.
Is the sex still good quality? Im guessing it is and suggesting the following.
ex.
mojo> you seem grumpy H> grunt mojo> yeah well its Wed, so-- Mr. grumpy, you better get in there and blank my blank...
I suggest this on the assumption that the throwdown and overall quality of your body bumping is still high.
He stuck to his part of the agreement for a few weeks. Did you meet him on the things he had requested?
I recognized that my H was making an effort to accept responsibility for his behavior and that he was doing this because he values our relationship very good. so my first response was to say "Well, we have been pretty busy.". why are you rescuing him? Dont make excuses for his actions, it undermines your boundary. My H responded to this with "Well, we weren't busy today.". Now, I know that he was only trying to take full responsibility for "not showing up" by saying this but my emotional reaction to this statement was to burst into tears
Do you see how my above suggestion is more along the lines of what he responds to? What he said was truthful. He/You werent busy. He chastised himself and you burst into tears. That would have bewildered me. Im curious what his reaction to your tears was.
I think he was testing you, and personally I want to give him a high five. Im not being indifferant to your frustration, but when you relate stories about your H, I almost always <chuckle> He is an azz. Lucky you.
) I say this because of the fullness of the picture you have painted of your H and your sitch.
