Hey Sista, I just returned here myself for a little venting. I think you and I have similar issues; it's hard on some level to accept that our sex lives require a lot of EFFORT on the part of our H's. They are being responsible, they're having some fun, there's more peace...but that confident, easy going desire is just not there to the degree we would like.
I was thinking that when I met my H he was endearing in a boyish kind of way, and I felt safe and in control. Unfortunately I probably became mommy-ized, which stifled my sexuality and his too. I really didn't choose the assertive alpha male type. So now I have to accept my H for who he is and appreciate that he is stepping up, even though it's not what would send me to the moon, if you know what I mean. I am trying to drop expectations and deal with reality.
It's funny that, like you, I still need an anonymous board to deal with all this, but this place has been internalized in my brain as a family of sorts.
