I just talked to H on the phone and he's still coming home tonight, but he's obviously really angry about the whole situation. I felt like he was trying to pick a fight with me. I'm being as patient as I can and just listening - part of my 180 - but this is really hard. Even though he's making the choice to come home (and I have honestly not pressured him), he still feels torn and is taking his anger out on me. I need a crash course in how to deal with this. Or maybe I should tell him he should wait to come home? I didn't expect him to run to me with open arms, but I didn't expect hostility.
I also looked at his MySpace again because he told me he was updating it. All the good stuff about me is gone off the site (there was a lot there about how much he loved me and I was one of his heroes..that kind of thing). He's got a whole entry about how money destroys lives and he doesn't want rich man's worries, just poor man's problems. This is the exact same speech he gave me when he told me he was leaving me for OW. I'm more sure than ever that he's coming home out of a sense of duty, and that he's not really committed to this. Frankly, I just want to cut and run at this point because I'm so scared that I'm going to let him back in my life only to have him run right back out again. It seems like he's just as ambivalent as he was a week ago, even though he's been telling me all week how committed he is.
I guess I have to just wait and see what he does, not what he says?
