So much happening so fast...

[cat03]

yes, for a few months we all feel that way, "what if he is just buying time and then he'll leave?", "what if he still has feelings for op?" It's normal, It took me a while to conquer that fear.

Can people really fall out of love with one person and back in love with someone else just by trying?

Hollywood has ruin our concept of love. Yes, at the beginning there are sparks and fireworks. After years of marrige the love MATURES, feelings come and go, love is a DECISION, to consecrate yourself to this one person, to give your all.
Yes, for a while, the newness of the new R does make the WAS act they way you are when you first fall in love, nothing is ever wrong w/the person, the novelty of it is like a drug (I'll post part of a great article about that at the end of this post)

Has your H vowed not to contact her? That so-called friend could do what she wants, if your H is fully commited, that's all that matters, don't torture yourself with other thoughts, stop making up scenarios in your head (I was an expert in piecing my H's A) it will lead you nowhere.

Dive head first into healing and forgiving and fill your brain w/positive reads, it will be ok, I know the hurt is still too fresh, but you guys have lots of future and he is back w/you, make him feel he is welcomed and that you are happy he is back.

About the only people more dangerous than philandering men going through life with an open fly and romantic damsels going through life in perennial distress, are emotionally retarded men in love. When such men go through a difficult transition in life, they hunker down and ignore all emotions. Their brain chemistry gets depressed, but they don't know how to feel it as depression. Their loved ones try to kee from bothering them, try to keep things calm and serene - and isolate them further

An emotionally retarded man may go for a time without feeling pleasure, pain, or anything else, untd a strange woman jerks him back into awareness of something intense enough for him to feel it - perhaps sexual fireworks, or the boyish heroics of rescuing hff, or perhaps just fascination with her constantly changing moods and never-ending emotional crises.

With her, he can pull out of his depression briefly, but he sinks back even deeper into it when he is not with her. He is getting addicted to her, but he doesn't know that. He only feels the absence of joy and love and life with his serenely cautious wife and kids, and the awareness of life with this new woman. It doesn't work for him to leave home to be with her, as she too would grow stale and irritating if she were around full time.

What he needs is not a crazier woman to sacrifice his life for, but treatment for his depression. However, since the best home remedies for depression are sex, exercise, joy, and triumph, the dangerous damsel may be providing one or more of them in a big enough dose to make him feel a lot better. He may feel pretty good until he gets the bill, and sees how much of his life and the lives of his loved ones this treatment is costing.